What do true friends look like

The old saying is "you can't choose your family". While that is absolutely true, you indeed can choose your friends. I consider my friends my chosen family. Problem is many of us spend more time scanning Netflix than we do our friends. We aren't careful who we call "friend". A wise man told me long ago "Brian you'll come to find out that you can count your friends on one hand". At the time I thought that was absurd cause I had like 20 friends at the time, or so I thought. Ends up that wise man was right. 

I heard a message one time that really made me think about friendship. When I was young I used to think friends were the people I had fun with, created mischief with, went to church with, or played sports with. No doubt some of those out of those groups are my friends, but very few. The message I heard said we have three kind of friends in our life. Here they are:

1) CONFIDANTES: "You have very few of them. They are for you. They are in for the long haul. You will never inherit your kingdom until you have a confidant. They will confront you. If you have two or three of these relationships in your life you are a blessed person."
2) CONSTITUENTS: "They are for what you are for. As long as you are for what they are for they will walk and labor with you … but they are not for you … but what you are for. You could mistake your constituents for your confidants."
3) COMRADES: "They are against what you are against. They will team up with you to help fight a greater enemy. They will only be with you until the victory is accomplished."

Now as you can see "CONFIDANTES" are the type of friends we want in our life. These are the friends who are always for us, but they also challenge us, get in our business when they see us off course, are brutally honest with us, encourage us, and stand with us through not only the celebrations in our lives, but also the toughest of times. When I had my toughest battle with depression is when I found out who my Confidantes were. Guess what, I could count them on my one hand. It took me a long time to realize I needed the type of friends who would challenge me to be my absolute best, and when I'm not they will call me on it. Growing up I lost myself a few times trying to make friends. I made a lot of "CONSTITUENTS" and "COMRADES" and none of them exist in my life today. Challenge yourself and ask how many "CONFIDANTES" you have in your life. Also ask if you are a "CONFIDANTE" to those who call you friend. 

Brian Earley
Think2change.org